Weekly Creative Writing #4
(Just to clarify here.. this is inside the mind of a fictional character...)
So! Another year has passed! Another battle over in this never-ending war we call time! Happy New Year? Pah. Do they ever think about the casualties? Do they think about how each and every time the year changes, all it is is a new period of time in which those whose stories are destined to end therein must come to a close? Am I the only one who understands that behind every light there is a dark space? Is it my mind, and mine alone, that bears the burden of knowing this truth? Or do all know and suppress? Is my mind weaker, then, because of that? I grapple but cannot win, I fight but cannot succeed against my own mind, for when heart and mind are at war, there is no victor. Each time I lose, I fall back farther. And how can I win when the adversaries are both me? I cannot, but somehow, something wins. My mind loses, and I can feel it. I can feel it to my very depths. But it is not my heart who vanquishes my mind. It is something far deeper, far more treacherous... some traitorous element. Something within my mind itself. I lose trust in my mind, my heart knows. What is trust? Trust is not rational. Trust cannot be measured. Quantified. Hah. What it is to me if it be irrational? I’m sure they will never understand it. I know, I know what it’s like to feel divided. How often my face has longed to smile, yearned to break into the universal sign of happiness, the one that knows no language barriers, the one that tramples the distinguishing lines between cultures and continents, but what good does it do? Is it rational? No! What is the reason for it? Feelings? What cares the mind for feelings? But there, I know my heart disagrees with me. My mind, that is. But my mind is me, and I my mind. For I have closed off my heart, lest it poison me with irrationality. Let it remain closed! I care not.
For my amazing friend's counterpart of this themed concurrent writing project, click HERE